So I Guessed I Just Need Something New.

The last entry was dated November 5, 2011. And that was almost 4 months ago. I have not been that busy that I can’t update this blog. It’s just I feel something is dying inside me. The ‘imaginary friend’ inside me stops talking. I don’t know what happened with him. Is it him who’s dying, or is it me, I don’t have any idea.

I could still hear the sound once or twice, slipping into some of these fragile tissues of my human brain. But again, as I have mentioned in my, maybe, one or two previous entries, the sound immediately, inevitably disappeared whenever I faced the blank Microsoft Words (which is, by nature, was very, very rare— I got asleep for tiresome as soon as I arrived at home every single day!).

One of my friends mentioned this a couple days ago. Over-intense interaction with numbers, or any other exact stuff, may lead to this kind of brain numb. I got too serious that I guess I have forgotten how interesting writing can bring to one’s life. Well, I used to say that I was fairly proud that I had this writing therapy to soothe my mood, or even, I can humbly say, may have inspired others. But who am I kidding. Even natural talent could get rusty. I, on the other hand, didn’t get the free lunch as a birth gift. Well, it used to be a good side effect as the result of, I may say, loneliness (in the boarding house, God knows!); too much spare time (again, in the boarding house); unspeakable thoughts, or comments, or eccentric ideas; hole in the pocket; a fine education; a little divine’s wisdom; some great, though sometimes nightmarish community; many great, superb movies, and books, and music; or even just a simple, nourishing Wikipedia. These great stuffs copulated and gave birth to this precious homunculus inside me. And now that my schedule has been getting too tight, that I presume that the little guy in there, well, where is he?

Yes, I indeed said “I have not been that busy that I can’t update this blog.” I’ve been busy these past few months. But, you know, not that busy. At least, not, “busy like hell.” Well, thanks God, currently this job is better than last year (so far— ugh). Point is, to update this blog is NOT impossible. But hey, I still didn’t update it. The thing is when I got this spare time to do even just a simple update in this blog, the idea didn’t come. It’s getting worse that as time went by I am getting lousier and lazier. I was even just staring blankly when those strange guys, with some bogus links attached in their names, putting some pointless comments in my Shoutbox (they are so fake that even the Shoutbox got expired— yes, this is supposed to be a joke).

Yet I didn’t say that the little guy is dead. I just said that he’s dying. Because he skipped some nutritious, essential, daily practices back there when I was “so busy I’m gonna die.”

I need practice. And I notice it.

So here I am, writing all this bullshit in this blog (what a great homecoming, huh?!). I guess this can be a great CPR for the little guy. Just like they say, it’s a baby step, dude. A simple, small baby step. All I have to do is practice. Practice makes perfect. Perfect makes me live happily ever after with that little, awesome rascal.

And I guess it’s getting lame in here, isn’t it? Frankly, I am thinking for a new home. What do you think? :)

xo
Exalandra